how does it feel to be a rationalization.

"it was a winter comfort that made the cold not seep all the way to your bones. someone to crawl under blankets with and pretend you felt something more than warmth. the pretending was okay because we both did it and in the back of my head i knew it. it was something to half look forward to and know it was going to consume your time. someone to talk to on the phone. someone to call on new years eve. it meant nothing and i half believed myself when i said that i wanted it that way.
sometimes i disgust myself with how i rationalize my bad decisions. its okay because i'm happy for now. but you never really are. it is a warm body and easy to let go of."

sometimes pretending is just a little bit too hard to do.