price is righttt

"are you a television anchor.. want to know what other anchors are dating who?... now you can with a braaaand newww computerrrr"

"everybody is a rape baby"

-mr. bill

cage.

the best things in life are the things you still have strong after a huge fight you think you won't get over.

am i backing off
pushing away

maybe because you never were worth sticking around.

the ones that are worth sticking around.. know it.

you're all fucked.

"I can easily name off the top of my head almost everyone whos fucked everyone else in my group of friends. If you havent been connected that way. everyone else has some distorted and personal opinion of you. Telling you that your haircut obviously means something obscure and artsy and pretentious about yourself. In my head i'm thinking I just don't like to wash it or brush it very often so short makes sense. The same person judging you on your body type a week before. They have a distorted view of what is attractive anyway but it is just another example of this weird incestuous "thing" people have when they are around eachother too much. groups get tight.. too tight.. they split up. they move outward and drag more people in. its a hundred spider webs all sticking to eachother at the ends.

She fucked him, he fucked her friend, we fucked, she fucks her friends old fuck buddy and her best friend is fucking her other friends ex. It goes on this way. every girl is giving dirty looks or privately dealing with the fact that there is no loyalty in the circle. A huge social climb where people are dragging themselves from the bottom of a hundred and fifteen people and desperately trying to climb to the top of the same people over and over. eventually, if you don't just walk away you all are going to kill each other or suffocate from trying too hard. "

Ralph Mastromonaco is not going to reward children who are fat with food.

dear America

quit being miserable about how you look if you are not going to get off your asses, stop eating bottomless whatever at your local food chain and do something to make yourself look and feel healthier an better.

"you just gotta do it. Its like ripping a band-aid off. a big band-aid you have sex with."

have you ever noticed that the only people who do the stupid sign for eating a girl out are straight fairly generic girls between the age of 14 and 23. never anyone else.

food for thought.

i bought your bike from a bum!

i bought someones trek road bike off a bum, its a pretty slick model so i imagine it wasnt cheap, its a purple 12 speed with some pretty memorable yellow brake lines and clipless pedals, if you see it dont knock me down just yell and ill stop



(craigslist gem)

as scary as it is to admit. this time i am really happy. i got lucky with this one and i'm not even sure how.

it never works out quite like that....

if you can't be a grown up.. don't pretend you can.

you're really immature and i don't even know you.

how does it feel to be a rationalization.

"it was a winter comfort that made the cold not seep all the way to your bones. someone to crawl under blankets with and pretend you felt something more than warmth. the pretending was okay because we both did it and in the back of my head i knew it. it was something to half look forward to and know it was going to consume your time. someone to talk to on the phone. someone to call on new years eve. it meant nothing and i half believed myself when i said that i wanted it that way.
sometimes i disgust myself with how i rationalize my bad decisions. its okay because i'm happy for now. but you never really are. it is a warm body and easy to let go of."

sometimes pretending is just a little bit too hard to do.

nice girls like selfish asshole guys.

nice guys like selfish bitchy girls.

thought provoking moments. brought to you by K mart.

I can't get it all back. I just feel like true love deserves a chance. that happiness deserves a chance. It deserves hope even if the ones you love or care about don't feel it back. it deserves to live. Then again I deserve to feel both sides of it too.

A friend said to me that romance and the need to have someone else is not what we should be looking for. The further you are from nature the less complete you are. something along those lines. Maybe that is why i feel so much stronger when i am near water or in the woods. Away from the ideals put into our heads at a young age. Find the perfect one. Don't compromise your plans for your life. they will love you unconditionally and you them. Happily ever after. From the beginning it is left out that Prince charming has less than fine manners, his socks don't match, she avoids the truth, your friends dont get along with them or vice versa, he makes you cry, he can't look you in the eye, she picks on you a few too many times a day and he probably doesn't love you unconditionally. cheating is left out. lies are avoided. the tears are made out to be easy to stop.

we are all consumed by who we want to be with, how they should look and act, what we want to with our lives and how it all should make us much happier than it ever really will.

everyone needs to look aside from their "perfect life" that they envision. if nobody compromised nobody would be together.
our generation is self absorbed. they want to have" someone that pleases them"
this is why people fight over the stupid things and let it get out of hand. they are afraid of losing THIER plans and THEIR futures.

the perfect person is imperfect.

life takes work. hopes are often dissapointments. happiness is letting go of your ideals and expectations. love is finding an amazing person, being willing to open your eyes a little wider and be willing to change, and accept a new definition of happiness.


so i ask you.

close your eyes. take a deep breath. ask yourself.
was what i had good?
should i have tried harder?
should they have tried harder?
did we appreciate what we had?
were we real?
was it worth letting my idea of a perfect life look a little different?

open your eyes.

when something that is not superficial but is truly good for you.. you grab onto it.... you grab onto the good and hope it takes you somewhere positive

when all my fingers ran off and i just couldnt follow them.
your eyelash was an island and your eyes were someone's friend
oh could that have been. oh oh... well i heard it was a real sweet thing.
well my smells grew some new smells and i just couldnt smell them all
i smell my sister in the winter and my father in the fall
cuz sand and snow. oh oh. the tired mood.

i leave you with the thought that all things that seem impossible to get by dissolve into the air if you let go.

and here we are all sitting around saying romance is dead. its just walking around behind all our backs. turn around.

its been happening in front of my eyes and its poetic.

"sometimes you just need a little reassurance hun. its human."

it lets you sigh with relief and makes you nervous all at the same time.

gallery openings should always have alcohol.

i was told once i was destined to stumble upon the most beautiful things.

associate freely please.

advice.
surprises.
doodling.
beer.
paint.
tshirts.

golfgolfgolf

so weather.com. i love you dearly but why did i have to change all my "settings" and log in every time on your website just to avoid the overwhelming amount of golf information. What made you think i cared about golf or wanted to know if i could play today. if my businessman and doctor friends call me up for a golf booty call of sorts i will be sure to check for the condition specifically.

strange.

i was dreaming about a dream last night.

well that was a change.

"there is something magical about me that scares the shit out of people"

eventually you will have to realize that you stopped caring, stopped taking care of yourself, or stopped paying attention. in ten years you will look back and think.. holy shit. what happened.

strength can't always come from within.

"it is not that i need someone stronger than myself.
i just need to know i don't have to be the strong one all the time."

SPRING BREAK MYRTLE BEACH

where you go on vacation to see the same people you work with every day!

"well its a pretty well known fact that you got fat in college"

"babe. i got no more love to give."

the concept of caring will never cease to amaze me.
one can fancy the idea of having control over who you care about and when you stop.
it is sadly not that simple and perhaps one will come up with the solution to the problem.
when you do give me a call.

there is a beauty in realization.
there is a fear that overpowers it.
there is a relief when you accept it.

i am incredibly vain at times.

1st draft.

"how quick a mind can change with its own self analysis. Your opinions and feelings switch on a dime when they snicker and poke fun. Oh don't get me wrong its all okay when peers give you a hard time but at some point we all need to grow up and make our own decisions. What do we like to eat, wear, do , and see. Its all your own choice and sometimes you cannot let it be decided by someone else's opinion or, more importantly, your own strange view of what you want your life to be like. The things you may think are good for you or what you want can create a tunnel vision that blocks out what could become good. We are all subject to this ideal world where we have something we want and we will eventually get exactly that or get something damn close. its not true and it wont happen for most. Wake up, look in the mirror, forget fairy tales, take a deep breath and step out of your door with an open view on what your life could be like. Take chances, ignore first impressions, learn about yourself. it might work out for you. who knows."

once in a while you find somone you can talk freely with. someone who understands when you talk in terms of the universe and metaphors.

i can try and be tough but..

i would love some security.

some door thats always open.

i want to live underwater.

but not the underwater that has creepy deep sea fish.

a story.

i very much enjoy reading this.


"lately i feel as if i cant make that kind of contact with anyone. i don't look as if it would physically hurt or i might just break down and cry if i let it happen, all the self hate and self doubt will just pour out of my eyes at contact. its like when you are about to throw up but you close your eyes or think of something to try and stop the inevitable. the problem is that at the end you open your eyes and look. it all comes out anyway"

so it happens

another year goes by and i learn more and more about myself and others.

i will start another year relying on myself to protect and watch out for myself above anyone else.
i will remember that people are not as concerned with you as they claim over and over.
i will be happy that i am starting a year out not in search of anyone but content with what i have and what i am.
i will know that none of the old people would be there to protect me from anything then and now.
i am happy to start a new year with a new attitude and a new sense of independence and contentment.


happy 4th