My chest felt heavy as i layed there, pretending to try to go to sleep. Or maybe I wasn't pretending, maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough. Or maybe I was trying too hard. Though i know that you know that just because you feel it, it doesn't mean it's there. But regardless, the heaviness was there and it was screaming into my ear in the style of a whisper that it wasn't planning on going away. I was lying there in that foreign yet comfortable bed. Maybe it was comfortable because it was foreign. Or maybe it was just a Serta. But certainly I was uncomfortable for feeling comfortable and I wanted out. I thought outloud; "I'm crawling out of my skin." But no one heard me which tempted whatever it was inside of me even more. What am I doing? What am I doing with myself? I'm not by myself, no, not like I should be; and trust me, I know that I should be. For the first time in my goddamned life I know that I should be alone. Yet for some reason, I'm having a hard time now.

I'm having a hard time telling people who I am.
I know what I want.
I know who I am.
The thoughts won't go away and there are tell-tale signs flashing like bright neon lights directly into my eyes.. or like a computer screen in a dark, dark room at 4:40 in the morning...